Campaigning and public service in elected office are heavy demands that test a person’s ability to continually demonstrate integrity, intention, and inclusion while evaluating power, place, and purpose in an ever-changing world.

As Bill Friday prophetically spoke in his charge to the first class of Friday Fellows nearly 30 years ago, it is our ability to learn, grow, and change that will determine the direction of the Republic.  He said then to class members, “You are going to discover how much courage you really have in challenging demagoguery, hypocrisy, expediency, and misdirected ego.”  These words remain true.

The Friday Fellowship community both celebrates successes and provides a space for support and reflection.  Known candidates in the 2024 cycle are listed below.

Jay Chaudhuri, Class of 2001-03
Did not have a March 5 primary and will be on the November 2024 ballot running for reelection to NC State Senate District 15 covering portions of central Wake County.

Satana Deberry, Class of 1999-01
Did not win the March 5 primary for NC Attorney General and will remain District Attorney of the 16th Prosecutorial District which covers all of Durham County.

Brandon Lofton, Class of 2014-16
Did not have a March 5 primary and will be on the November 2024 ballot running for reelection to NC State House District 104 covering portions of south central Mecklenberg County.

Robin Merrell, Class of 2006-08
Won her March 5 primary and will be on the November 2024 ballot running for District Court Judge for District 40, Seat 6 which covers Buncombe County.  It appears she will have no general election opponent.

Graig Meyer, Class of 2003-05
Did not have a March 5 primary and will be on the November 2024 ballot running for reelection to NC State Senate District 23 covering Caswell, Orange, and Person Counties.

Deborah Ross, Class of 1995-97
Won her March 5 primary and will be on the November 2024 ballot running for reelection to US House District 2 covering portions of central and northern Wake County.

US House, NC Senate, and NC House members serve two year terms. District Attorneys and District Court Judges are elected to four year terms.

There are still openings on the November 2024 ballot.  Certain local races such as Raleigh City Council, Buncombe County School Board, and more have filing periods that open in July 2024.  Check your county board of elections website for more information.

No matter the time in an electoral cycle, Bill Friday’s advice on listening is always sound.

If a Friday Fellow in the 2024 election cycle has been omitted, please email.

“Communing together is about showing our hearts to one another. Bearing our hearts to one another is a holy act.”  Michelle Cassandra Johnson; We Heal Together: Rituals and Practices for Building Community and Connection.

Throughout 2023, the Wildacres Leadership Initiative team and I extended invitations to Friday Fellows to participate in multiple opportunities to convene. As a Fellow (class of 2020-2022), in my work, I am mindful of the core values I discern to be embedded in the Friday Fellowship tradition—expressly, inclusivity across multiple lines of difference, invitational process, communal connection and care, curious engagement, and courageous cultivation of shared relational practices.

As I worked with our WLI team to plan these events, I was accompanied by my belief that doing our own work for our own sake can enable and strengthen our ability to positively transform communities, systems, institutions, and supportive structures for the good of ourselves and our communities. In my Fellowship experience, I found affirmation of this hopeful principle. I also received affirmation of another long-held core belief, which I strive to carry into all my relational engagements: that communing together and honoring a collective practice can create embodied connections through which listening deeply to ourselves and to one another, sharing stories, thoughts, impressions, experiences, and feelings invite and cultivate greater understanding of one another and the world we inhabit differently and together.

I remain curious about the many and myriad ways that this is not only possible, but can be cultivated and grown through deliberate practices. The prospect of continuing to discover and work with such practices is, in fact, what drew me to the Friday Fellowship in the first place. And so, guided by these beliefs and mindful of the core values in the Friday Fellowship tradition, I endeavored—alongside my WLI teammates—to offer opportunities to gather that also fostered invitations to go a little deeper. That is, to continue excavating and mining a practice that facilitates growth in and through this thing we call relational fellowship.

I say all this to say that, in 2023, we did indeed gather together in a spirit of all things Friday Fellowship, and in the process, we also offered invitations to return, reconnect, retreat, and reflect—perhaps, even reckon—a little deeper. To these offered possibilities, 2023 programming included invitations to read a couple of books, to consider some reflection essays, and to participate in shared activities.

In 2023, Fellows were invited to attend two virtual convening sessions, in addition to a traditional All Fellows Gathering on the Mountain (Wildacres Retreat).
To accompany and shape our time together, we offered these books to Friday Fellows who attended virtual convenings and the gathering at Wildacres Retreat:

Jacobs, Donald T., a.k.a Four Arrows, and Darcia Narvaez. Restoring the Kinship Worldview: Indigenous Voices Introduce 28 Precepts for Rebalancing Life on Planet Earth. 2022, North Atlantic Books. https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/690771/restoring-the-kinship-worldview-by-wahinkpe-topa-four-arrows/

Johnson, Michelle C. We Heal Together: Rituals and Practices for Building Community and Connection. 2023, Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boulder. https://www.michellecjohnson.com/we-heal-together

Working with themes in these texts, as well as questions and musings offered in two framing reflection essays, Fellows also received invitations to engage—or not—in playful and creative activities related in various ways to the project of enhancing relational practices.

Specifically, we learned to make paper boxes. In the process, some reflective questions attended us as we folded paper, such as:
    "Can folding paper into colored boxes offer us other ways of contemplating the reality that being a person is an ever-unfolding process of becoming which, by nature, occurs within webs of relationships? Are there insights for our relational labor to be found in more fully understanding that all of us, as human beings in a relational universe, are “formed by the folding and in-folding of biological, experiential, familial, cultural, and social elements; like time and space, like paper creations”—as these, each and all, are natural, evolving expressions and products of multiple, nuanced relationships?"

Riffing on the Postcard Art and PostSecret movements, we also engaged in a kind of collective dreaming by making postcard art, adorned with hopes, dreams, aspirations, and personal wisdoms. Alongside this invitational practice, these questions sat with us:
    "Could a shared activity of making postcard art ignite communal imagining? Could adorning postcards with our own personal dreams of a life of belonging, of liberation, of healing, connect us all who are gathered in hopes of deeper, more relational ways of understanding ourselves and each other? Can engaging a shared activity together, even as each person makes their own creation, be a ceremony? A ritual of communal imagining?"

And of course, amid all our gatherings, we also held circles together, guided by a proposed practice.

As the programming year has moved from 2023 into 2024, I have continued to be accompanied and inspired by the beliefs, commitments, yearnings for expansive connectedness, curiosities about deepening relational practices, potentialities, and possibilities that shaped 2023 All Fellows programming. Almost daily my Fellowship work confirms a wholehearted belief that Michelle C. Johnson is right, that communing together is about showing our hearts to one another and bearing our hearts is a holy activity. And I have been engaging 2024 All Fellows planning and gatherings with a hopeful expectation that more will be revealed among us, that it will deepen our practices individually and collectively, and that our shared heart labor will surely sustain us and grow us—both in fellowship and in our various endeavors for a greater common good.

Resources and Links:

2023 All Fellows Convening Experiences

Returning, Retreating, Reconnecting: Convening Practice Guide 2023

Essay - Dreaming Dreams Together

Box-making Essay and Instructions

All Fellows on the Mountain 2023 Event Page

The weekend’s favorable weather allowed the cohort to take advantage of place-based and experiential learning opportunities made available in particular by being with North Carolina’s eastern edges. Playing with senses, space, and time, class members often ventured outdoors and alongside the southwestern portion of the Albemarle Sound to explore conversational flow with one another. As the cohort continues to forge fellowship across the state, from the mountains to the sound, the shared natural world continues to extend reminders of our interconnectedness.

Class members also welcomed Mavis Hill, Friday Fellow (Class of 2003-2005) and former WLI Board Member, for an afternoon. Hill is a lifelong resident of the local area and generously shared about her life and work in rural economic development across Tyrrell and Washington Counties. Hearing Hill’s perspective and stories about the assets and challenges of being an eastern North Carolinian deepened class members’ care and commitment to the state of North Carolina as a whole.

With a long horizon ahead of Seminar Three, set to take place in July 2024, the 12th class of the Friday Fellowship for Human Relations left Seminar Two with the encouragement to carry forth the power of curiosity alongside connections made — from the sounds of jumping mullet and the lapping wash of a rocky shore, to the gritty feel of salt grains, to the ubiquitous resilience of moss, even the sight of one another’s handwriting — with that of their place and purpose as leaders in the state.

Dear Fellows, Staff, and Friends of the Wildacres Leadership Initiative,

As my tenure as Chair of the Wildacres Leadership Initiative (WLI) Board of Advisors comes to a close, I write this letter with a heart full of both pride and a touch of sadness. It has been an honor to serve an organization so deeply committed to nurturing courageous and collaborative leadership across North Carolina.

Reflecting on our journey, I am filled with immense pride in what we have achieved together. Under my leadership, we've upheld and expanded the vision laid out by our founders. We strived to create a North Carolina where leadership at all levels is collaborative, courageous, civil, equitable, and just. Our mission has always been to build individual and collective leadership that fosters collaboration throughout the state. In this, I believe we have not only succeeded but also set new benchmarks for what is possible.

One of our most significant accomplishments has been the development and implementation of a unique curriculum for our fellowship program, masterfully designed by Dr. Meredith Doster (Class of 2017-19). Her vision and dedication during her tenure as lead faculty have been instrumental in providing a learning experience unlike any other in the state. Working closely with Meredith and her successor, Beth Coleman, we navigated the challenges posed by the pandemic, delivering impactful programming both outdoors and remotely. Beth has continued the core intention of our program, honoring Meredith's curriculum while adeptly adapting it to a post-pandemic environment.

In addition, our commitment to open-source learning has been a cornerstone of my tenure. Both Dr. Doster and Liam Hooper (Class of 2020-22) have developed comprehensive, adaptable programs available on our website, fostering community engagement and ensuring our resources are accessible to all.

Recognizing the importance of internal community building, I initiated annual board retreats. These retreats have not only strengthened our bond as a board but also served as a model for the kind of engagement we expect from our fellows. In line with this, Liam has actively reinvigorated our fellows' network, furthering our mission of community building.

I am also proud to note that all event offerings during my time as chair have included a free or complimentary option, ensuring inclusivity and accessibility for all. This decision reflects our values of diversity, equity, and inclusion, which are fundamental to our work.

As we look forward to the upcoming January and April 2024 virtual All Fellows Convenings, I am confident that WLI will continue to grow and impact the lives of leaders across our state.

In the spirit of the New Year, I extend my heartfelt wishes to each of you. May this year bring new opportunities for growth, deeper connections within our communities, and continued progress towards a vibrant, collaborative North Carolina. Let's embrace the values of WLI – courage, civility, equity, and justice – as guiding stars in our ongoing journey.

Thank you for the opportunity to lead such an impactful organization. Your support and commitment to the betterment of our state have been the driving force behind our successes. As I bid farewell to my role as Chair, I do so with I do so with a sense of fulfillment and confidence in the bright future ahead for WLI . I know that our collective efforts will continue to make a meaningful difference in the lives of North Carolinians.

I am also confident that WLI is in capable hands with our incoming Chair, Dr. Danny Ellis (Class of 2008-10).

It has been a privilege to lead and be a part of this extraordinary community.

Wishing you a joyful, prosperous, and fulfilling New Year.

With heartfelt gratitude,
Rebekah Hughey, MD (Class of 2014-16)
Immediate Past Chair, Wildacres Leadership Initiative


 

The Wildacres Leadership Initiative (WLI) Board of Advisors is pleased to share the following board officer and other updates from the final board meeting of calendar year 2023.  A brief video message from departing board chair Rebekah Hughey (Class of 2014-16) was posted in the private Friday Fellowship for Human Relations Facebook group and can be found at this link.

A new group of officers has been elected to lead the WLI board beginning January 1, 2024.  Danny Ellis (Class of 2008-10) will become Chair; Faith Patterson (Class of 2017-19) will be Vice Chair; Melinda Manning continues her role as Secretary; and Alicia James will begin as Treasurer.

Calvin Allen (Class of 2003-05) was elected to a second consecutive three-year term ending in December 2026.

With much gratitude for relationships built and years of collaborative leadership, board members Celeste Collins (Class of 2008-10), Mavis Hill (Class of 2003-05), and Rebekah Hughey depart the board as their terms end in December 2023.  All will remain an ongoing part of WLI through work on the Program Committee, direct engagement in seminar planning, and organizational outreach.

Shannon Moretz (Class of 2017-19), Jen Nixon (Class of 2014-16), Boo Tyson (Class of 1997-99), and Philip Blumenthal will continue as board members during 2024.

A sample board member job description is at this link.  If you or someone you know may have interest in serving on the WLI Board of Advisors now or in the future, please consider this sharing of the duties in the board member job description an open invitation to contact a board member or WLI Director Hunter Corn for a conversation.  Perspectives of both Friday Fellows and individuals who have not gone through the Fellowship program are welcome.

In picture above (left to right) Danny Ellis, Faith Patterson, Melinda Manning, Alicia James

Leading up to the first seminar weekend experience, class members received engagement opportunities that included common group texts centered on aspects of dialogue, individual reading choices with North Carolina centered stories, and a resource guide for reflection.

The three dialogue texts provided to the class in the weeks prior to the seminar were:
Fearless Dialogues, Gregory C. Ellison II
The Art of Communicating, Thich Nhat Hahn
We Need to Talk, Celeste Headlee

Once at the mountain, a fall weekend full of color and changing weather accompanied the group through introductions and the sharing of stories.

In the spirit of the program’s namesake Bill Friday and his longtime interview show North Carolina People, class members were invited to share their stories and listen to each others’ stories - in action, art, word, walking, poetry, and more.

If there is a persistent belief that listening is central to leadership, does it follow that listening to ourselves and others should be central to a leadership practice?

From Where Do You Come?

This question formed the central inquiry of Seminar One.

Dr. Darin Waters, NC Deputy Secretary for the Office of Archives and History, once again joined a Friday Fellowship class at Wildacres Retreat in a conversation exploring self, personhood, relationship to the state, the nation, and further reflection on the impact and depth of known, unknown, and rediscovered personal history.  How might narratives change through hearing more stories?

In Bill Friday’s words:

“Listen. Listen.  Be quiet, and listen.
They’ll tell you a great story.
And I’ve yet to meet a human being after 2,000 interviews that doesn’t have a story.
You’ve got one. I have one. And that’s the humanity with the whole world we’re in.”

We are born and have our being in a place of memory. We chart our lives by everything we remember from the mundane moment to the majestic. We know ourselves through the art and act of remembering. Memories offer us a world where there is no death, where we are sustained by rituals of regard and recollection.

Congratulations to Friday Fellow Lori Bush (Class of 2014-16) on her reelection to an At-Large seat on the Cary Town Council.  Cary Town Council terms are four years.

Did you know that Cary, North Carolina would be the largest city by population in South Carolina if dropped into that state today?

Like all things, the impact of local elections and municipal public service can be skewed by our perceptions and assumptions. The Town of Cary is one of the ten largest cities in North Carolina, and at the same time, Cary is not the largest city in its own county. (Raleigh is the largest city in Wake County).

Adapting to changing relationships is a necessary skill in fast-growing areas like Cary.

In the October 2023 municipal election cycle, Lori Bush ran for reelection with two opponents on the ballot and received approximately 70% of the vote for an At-Large seat in this large community in North Carolina.

Again, congratulations on this Friday Fellow’s win and the confidence her community has shown in her leadership.

I was crying and laughing as I drove up the mountain.

Crying because I was on my way to the All Fellows Retreat, which I had been looking forward to for months. Knowing I was going to be among Fellows, my walls were starting to come down. And I was realizing I’m not okay. I work with queer and trans youth and their families, across the South, and this year has been just brutal. Not just the dozens of laws and school board policies and culture war attacks that target them, but the impacts behind the scenes that most people don’t know.

Imagine being the parent of a trans kid right now. Like any parent, you will do anything to keep your child safe. So your days are filled with fighting—principals and teachers, counselors and coaches, pastors and preachers, doctors and nurses—sometimes they are actively hostile, sometimes they are personally sympathetic, but not willing to break the rules. Either way, they’re failing your child, so every day you fight. Your nights are restless with the anxiety of a parent whose child is in danger. You lie awake worrying, because you know the statistics, and is that just a normal amount of depression your child is feeling? How much suffering are they hiding from you? Is checking on them every hour enough? And while you and your spouse are lying awake, you talk about whether it’s time to leave your jobs and your home and your friends and your family behind, to move a thousand miles north to live with strangers, so your child can get the health care that will let them be their self, and save their life...

Sometimes I’m the only supportive adult these parents have. I do my absolute best for them, but as I drove up the mountain, and my walls were coming down... It’s possible that I was carrying some
unprocessed secondary trauma. Which was leaking out of my eyes.

And I was laughing, too. At myself. Because what kind of an idiot is going to drive that narrow winding road up the mountain while blinded by tears?

We didn’t use name tags at All Fellows, but if we had, mine would have read, “Hello, I’m A MESS.”

Fortunately, it’s okay to be a mess at All Fellows.

I didn’t realize it until later, but that journey was a pilgrimage. If you’ve been on the mountain, then you know some of what I found. The ringing of the bell for meals. Conversations in rocking chairs, looking across the valleys and forests, at sunrise and sunset and in between. Silence. Laughter. Being silly with board games. Hearing other Fellows talk about their lives and their work, finding unexpected answers, and also new questions. And the circles, above all, the circles of conversation and question, call and response, suffering and healing. I showed up as a mess, and among Fellows I found healing.

I guess I could talk about the activities and the readings and the dialogues, but really, I know that’s like looking at somebody else’s vacation photos. Let me just leave you with the words that came to me for our closing circle. I know you may not understand them, if you weren’t there, but perhaps something of the spirit of our time together will shine through. And perhaps you will have a chance to gather with other Fellows soon, and find laughter, silence, new questions, and healing.

Lying on our backs on the patio by the firepit
  talking and watching for the Perseids – there!
   a bright streak of light across
    the Milky Way

Pain—shared pain—and tears
  and a hope for lamentation
   a call for finding rituals
    a reminder of joy
     let our hearts be big enough to hold both
      and all

A story of Mary
  a tower to mark the way forward
   into new stories
    and old stories long forgotten

Crafting an origami box
  six pages squared, corners in, halfsies,
   paper airplane, corner halfsies, angles up, fold in thirds, and
    don’t forget to tuck!
Inside, four petals of pine cone, five words of blessing, and a note to a friend.

Everything is invitational.
  And transcendent.
   Debarti.
    (Shemati)

Elizabeth Yardley Young, a member of the tenth class of the William C. Friday Fellowship for Human Relations passed away on August 20, 2023.  Wildacres Leadership Initiative sends deepest sympathy to family, friends, loved ones, and all relations.

Many have been following Elizabeth's journey via her Caring Bridge page for some time.  Several of her Fellowship classmates also shared in all manner of support.  Her nominator to the Fellowship, Keith Martin (Class of 2001-03), shared the sad news and bittersweet words from the Caring Bridge page to the Friday Fellowship for Human Relations Facebook group on Sunday.

Some of Elizabeth's words about herself to the Fellowship community can be found at this link written during her class experience.

Last year, Mebane Rash (Class of 1997-99) shared a story at this link about Elizabeth's work leading the Hunger and Health Coalition in Watauga County.  In this story you may find some understanding of the phrase seen in remembrances of Elizabeth's sentiment to "eat the ____ pie."

High Country Press shared this tribute to Elizabeth earlier this week.

One of many unexpected connections during the 2017-19 Fellowship class was Elizabeth's direct link to a new faculty member who happened to grow up in Vestavia Hills, Alabama - just as Elizabeth did.  The world of human relations is small indeed.

So many more stories can be shared.  Please feel free to share yours with the family at the Caring Bridge site or at this link.

More information is available at the public obituary here.

Elizabeth was laid to rest in a private ceremony on Tuesday, August 22, 2023.  A public memorial will be held at the Grandview Ballroom on the Appalachian State University campus on Saturday, September 23, 2023 from 3pm-6pm.

Decades ago I enjoyed summers and falls and early winters with marching bands in high school (Crest High School in Cleveland County) and college (UNC-Chapel Hill).

While waves of memories often wash over me of different moments and different reflections, it is the paradox of being soft and loud - but always loud - that makes me smile.  It's just a simple matter of perspective.  The music may be subito piano to fortissimo, yet it is still a group of over 250 instruments playing loud enough to be heard over tens of thousands of people in the stands.

With The Phantom of the Opera ending its historic Broadway run earlier this year, memory washed over me again.  Enjoy the 6:00 mark at the end of the video below.  The year was 1993 and UNC-CH was visiting NC State in Raleigh.  I was playing pit percussion: bells, xylophone, etc.   

I was banging mallets on those instruments.  Maybe it wasn't ever soft.  Maybe it was in the relative way the moment needed.  In any case, it still makes me smile.

For many years I’ve formed relationships and made deep connections throughout the state, particularly in the Eastern North Carolina communities through my work as a community activist and political consultant. It was not until the more recent years that I began to relate the work and journey of my ancestors to my own journey and allow it to guide and move me. I feel now more than ever, the roots and legacy that was passed on through me.

I have been fortunate enough to have known my grandparents, great grandparents, and one great great grandmother, all of whom I have shared space and air with at some point in my life. Several are no longer with me but I often think about who they were in the community and the parts of them that I must carry, inherently. It is because of their legacy, their hope and prayers that I am able to connect as deeply as I have with others.

I think about the acres of land that was purchased by my great grandfather and his siblings here in Pamlico County that have been passed down generations. I think about what it must have meant to finally own the same land that they once farmed. There is so much pride and gratitude in my heart that I wish that I had reconciled sooner than now.

My people were land owners, business owners, and community pillars. I heard many stories as a child about those that were helped by my great grandparents, whether it was a ride in their car into town, an invitation to church, or a cold bottle of soda on a hot summer day, or gathering on their massive porch to talk. All of this would later be a part of their legacy.

My work in the community has many times been made easier, just at the mention of who my people were. The joy and kindness they gave to others still lives on in the elders still here and in the children of those that they touched. Each time, this inspires something inside of me. I moved across the state and still found a person that was touched by one of my grandparents. Their legacy protects me and provides for me in ways that I could never have imagined.

My mother’s home sits on the very piece of land that her grandparents home also sat on. The home that was a safe place for so many. The land that her own father was born on and would live until he was a young man. I think about what this land must have witnessed, what it remembers of the stories, the many visitors, and the bread breaking that took place there. There are still remnants left. In the front yard, there is the space where an old water pump existed, now mixed in with the grass is cement that is left from the old walkway. Then there are the trees.

There are rose bushes and pecan trees. My favorite tree of them all is the plum tree. It sits in the front yard close to the ditch that lies near the roadside. I learned from my grandfather that his mom, my great grandmother planted this tree over half a century ago. Several summers back, this plum tree grew a massive amount of fruit. Each branch had multiple bunches of ripe plums sagging towards the ground. As a matter of fact some of the plums had fallen to the ground, covering the grass beneath the tree. Family and friends were dropping by with bags to fill and my children, nieces, and nephews would eat plums throughout the day. I remember how beautiful in color these plums were this particular summer. It seemed surreal, that there were so many.

The image of the tree full of fruit spoke to me. I began to wonder if my great grandmother knew that when she planted this tree that it would live for decades and provide shade and nourishment for descendants that she would never meet. I wondered if she understood the legacy she was leaving behind. I also wonder if she was intentional in her planting of this tree or if she, like myself, was just doing something she loved. This thought and wonder about her purpose has helped guide me in my work and it’s left me constantly seeking to build a legacy to leave here. I understand that doing something I love will only produce more love.

You see, legacy isn’t always accounts, stocks, and assets. Legacy are those things that live on inside you, legacy is land passed down that can never again be produced in this lifetime, legacy is the beautiful stories and relationships you build that will live on long after you are gone. Legacy is leaving something behind larger than yourself and planting seeds that will last forever.

What is the legacy that was left for you to carry, to share, and to add the pieces of your journey to, and what will you leave?

“We are thrilled to welcome this talented group of leaders to the Friday Fellowship. These individuals have been selected for their exceptional leadership skills and commitment to making a positive impact in their communities and the state of North Carolina. Their diverse backgrounds and experiences will bring new perspectives and ideas to our organization, and we look forward to seeing the impact they will make in their communities and beyond. By joining the class, they are making an intentional choice to sit in community with fellow North Carolinians across lines of perceived difference. Honing this valuable skill over time will be at the heart of their experience, and we are excited to see what this new class of leaders will accomplish. We are honored to have them as part of the Friday Fellowship community.”

Like other Friday Fellows before them, the 15 incoming class members will engage in professional and leadership development both individually and collectively throughout the duration of the two-year fellowship cycle. The program, which operates without tuition or fees from class members, is structured over six four-day seminars and allows for shared experiences across the state, including in Carteret, McDowell, and Tyrrell counties. Before and after each seminar weekend, class members are invited to embrace new and different pathways toward building and sustaining relationships across lines of difference.

Highlighting the unique nature of the program, WLI Lead Faculty, Beth Coleman, comments,

"The Friday Fellowship champions the practice of being and becoming, one I believe to be acutely needed and necessary. In particular, the program’s relational approach to learning, community, and leadership is especially pertinent toward honoring the state of today’s North Carolina while striving for the future North Carolina we hope to live in. This incoming cohort is well suited to being present in facing what has been, what is, and what could be.”

These days, in my morning walks around our gardens, I’ve noticed the slightest drag in my feet, a just-barely-felt sluggishness in the movements of my body. A slower settling into my generally contented, if not happy, disposition. Even amid the daily joys of morning birdsong, budding flowers, verdant vegetables, and the gift of a new day, I’m aware a tenderness of spirit accompanies me. Things within and around me just seem … heavier. The air feels denser, even as I smile at the rustling sounds of the running chipmunk I’ve startled or the anticipatory thought of tomato sandwiches soon to come.

I suspect I am not alone in these sensations. The world, and we its travelers, have been through a lot. And as surely as there are good things each day, available for our noticing, mounting challenges pile up along the pathways of our lives.

I recognize these feelings. With a measure of familiarity, I’m making yet another existentially fraught passage through overlapping, interconnected lines of vulnerability in a world less and less prepared to accept, let alone celebrate, the fundamental reality that diversity is the underlying characteristic of the universe—and each of us, earthly sojourners. Sometimes sluggishly, sometimes more hopefully and always gratefully, I’ve been plodding along the path before me. And, surely, before us—by which I mean a larger “all of us” humans, an “us” created by a we who keep searching for threads of meaningful change-making linked to strands of sustaining strength, and especially, I mean a particular “us,” marvelously created in a kaleidoscopically diverse, intersectionally interdependent commune of variously marginalized holy others, made so by externalized misunderstandings, intolerances, fears, and forces of power.

Reconsidering wherefores and whys, as I am prone to do, excavating rough personal and socio-cultural terrain for insights, and seeking wisdom beyond my own counsel, I began reading a colleague’s new book, We Heal Together: Rituals and Practices for Building Community and Connection. These prospects—practices of connection, community, communal care, and grounding rituals—are not only lifeway elements, curiosities, and pursuits I share with author Michelle Cassandra Johnson; they are again, and increasingly, emerging as values-based ideas vital to the collective endeavors explored and engaged by groups of justice minded, social change workers.

In her own excavations, Johnson offers certain observations and questions that strike me as resonant and salient—to my own concerns and longings, to the ongoing work for a more just and equitable coexistence, and to the work of relational fellowship. Specifically, she notes that, amid recent and current challenges, many of us have renewed a personal and collective process of “excavating what is causing so much suffering on and to our planet” to discern viable ways forward, adding:

We have been taken to the underworld and asked if we will do what we
need to do in service of the collective good to decrease the suffering on
the planet and heal. Will we dig up the bones, our history of trauma and
oppression, and the blood memories in order to heal? Or will we bury
things down deeper within ourselves and the collective? Will we prioritize
community and what it means to be in relationship? Or will we prioritize
our own individual needs at the expense of others?

As I read these words, I paused, felt myself sighing, relieved and grounded again, reminded I am not alone in some hidden valley with my family, wondering, sometimes worrying, sorting observations, impressions, trepidations, and concerns like old coins collected in a cloudy jar. Reassured in new and needful ways, I remember that I, among others, have been searching in various ways for practical, lifeway responses to these same questions because they matter. In truth, we’ve been asking and searching for eons because the good of the collective calls us to do so. Because the flourishing of the collective matters.

Said another way, throughout the history of our species, answers to the question of whether we will realize then act to achieve what is necessary to provide for and preserve the collective good, above the good of the few, have only glimmered in a shared vision, partially revealed and dimly discerned. Across time and space, cultures and histories, recycled quests for power, privilege, and opulent comfort have thwarted human efforts toward co-creating a common, egalitarian thriving. And yet, somehow, despite all our stops, starts, and missteps, deep within the collective us, we know that the key to divining whether, and how, we will prioritize an expansive human community and learn to act in service to the collective good lies in the labor of human relations—between individuals, gathered groups, communities, and nation states.

There is, I think, a profound paradox in all of this. That is, alongside various practical knowledge ways, technologies, and resources, the ongoing ever-evolving sacred project of discerning, nurturing, and protecting an expansive humanality is essential to fostering relationally connected, just, and compassionate communities. Simultaneously, apprehending the necessary understanding of this humanality requires ongoing relational practice.

When I write and speak of humanality, I mean: the elements, qualities, capacities, potentialities—indeed, even, longings—characteristic of a shared human nature. Such discovery is a kind of work, a labor grounded in curiously seeking to discern and apprehend from our collective and particular beingness and experiences the nuanced ways that our diversely individual selves and lives, rather than apparent sameness or loosely assumed similitudes, point to and illuminate our likeness: our common humanality. Although there is much to be learned about our not-yet-fully-discovered human lot through history, the sciences, and the daily strivings of squirrels, birds, flowers, insects, the cosmos, and all our relations, those observational musings can only take us so far. A deeper, more intentional, relational practice seems to me necessary.

And yet, relational practices are labor. Cultivating relationships is risky, sometimes uncomfortable, messy, and unpredictable; it is equally enriching, marvelously surprising, inspiring and renewing. Experience has taught me the benefits to my own formation, and perhaps my survival, often outweigh the risks. Admittedly, these days, in my queer-ish, transgender, Jewish, soon-to-be-sixty skin, I sometimes feel a familiar, tired sense of unease. A tender history walks with me, alongside awareness this is true for others as well. Sometimes, my feet drag ever so slightly. Sometimes, lately, things just seem heavier. Including my sense of selfhood. Some days, I have to remind myself I’m worth the risk. And so are others.

Still, this day, as questions born amid uncertainty and foreboding signs remain, the birds sing from the hawthorn tree. And that damn chipmunk still startles every single day when I walk by, then scurries into new tunnels under my wood shop. Too, the cucumbers have bounced back from the shock of being transplanted. Perhaps, we all will. I don’t know.

What I do know is this: I am here, living on, walking around, planting and tending gardens because others were here before me. I survive, grow, continue becoming a person, and learn to live and love because others have accompanied me and some accompany me still. I have accompanied them, too, because I’ve been willing to not be alone. Willingness to not be alone seems to matter. And all this, even amid the pressing unknowns, reminds me of the powerfully formative nature and potentialities of relationships.

And so I keep showing up and striving to hold a practice of valuing, continuing to develop, and intentionally engaging relational connection-making and cultivation in all sorts of curious ways—even though and perhaps precisely because it is not always easy and, sometimes, I would rather sit in the backyard with my spouse, quietly watching birds, squirrels, and chipmunks going about their daily lives. I keep nudging myself out of the comfort of gardens, wood shop, and intimacies of private life because I know that discovering who we are, as selves and as a species, can only be done by earnestly entering into the curious, sometimes messy, often surprising, no less vital, revelatory and transformative practice of cultivating and nurturing human relationships.
Along the garden paths around my house, where all manner of living things living-on abound, Johnson’s questions walk hopefully beside my own. Daily, there are pathways before me—before the multilayered, ever evolving us. Some lead to the promise of meaningful, sometimes surprising relational encounters. Some incline toward other places and spaces, each with their own purposes and possibilities.

Will we come together and dig up the bones? Will we draw out the blood memories, tapping the lifelines of our common lot? When the path opens opportunities, will we take up the practice of relational connection, with the promise of discovering clues to the humanality of our common species—perhaps, discerning along the way needful insights into practices that nurture, preserve, and protect a collective good?

I don’t know. But for today, I am willing to keep striving to notice when a pathway opens toward communal engagement, sit down in the circle, rest my sometimes heavy feet, and enter a practice of listening, reflecting, and sharing. Because others are worth the risks and so am I. Because the good of the collective—and each and every one of us interdependent members—matters. And, along the way, there is surely time for tunneling chipmunks, gardens, and birds.

Congratulations to Friday Fellow Ed Wilson (Class of 1995-97) of Rockingham County on his unanimous confirmation by the NC General Assembly as a special superior court judge.  

Today the NC Senate confirmed Judge Wilson 15 days after the NC House vote and just few weeks after Governor Cooper nominated him for a standard five-year term.  

In North Carolina, special superior court judges have all the authority of a regular superior court judge, but do not have to live in a particular district.

Ed Wilson has been a superior court judge since 2003 and was recently selected by his peers to serve as the President of the NC Conference of Superior Court Judges for 2022-23.   

WLI is deeply grateful to Ed Wilson for modeling a style of leadership which can bring North Carolinians together.

**Note** Applications Closed on March 30, 2023***

The William C. Friday Fellowship for Human Relations is now accepting nominations and applications from all North Carolina residents for the next class of Friday Fellows.

For detailed information on the application and nomination process, click here.

To review the nomination process and nomination form, click here.

To review the application criteria before beginning an application form online, click here.

Named for the late UNC System President William C. “Bill” Friday, the Friday Fellowship is a program approaching its 30th year of bringing together North Carolinians across differences. Eleven classes of Friday Fellows have completed the two-year experience that includes six extended weekend seminars at locations throughout the state. The Friday Fellowship is a program of Wildacres Leadership Initiative.

Almost 75 years ago, Wildacres Retreat, which is located in McDowell County near the Blue Ridge Parkway, was dedicated “to the betterment of human relations” in hopes that people who visited would learn to live together in harmony. Wildacres Leadership Initiative (WLI) was formed 50 years later to work throughout the state, launching the Friday Fellowship program to cultivate North Carolina leaders. In Bill Friday’s words, “The greatest need in our state and country is for a generation of leaders with moral principles, and ethical standards…with an unshakable commitment to courage and fairness with grace and courtesy and decency.”

There are now over 200 Friday Fellows throughout the state and nation. Friday Fellows come from all walks of life and employment sectors. They include religious leaders, K-12 teachers, non-profit executives, elected officials, writers, small-business owners, higher education professionals, entrepreneurs, and community members leading in a variety of ways.

Friday Fellowship applicants should be prepared to engage across differences with curiosity and courage.

Applications and nominations are due March 30, 2023 for consideration in selecting the 2023-2025 class of Friday Fellows. There is no cost, fee, or tuition for the Friday Fellowship. Applicants and nominators should review all program requirements carefully.

To be considered for selection, candidates must complete an application in addition to being nominated by someone who is meaningfully connected to their work in the world. WLI invites candidates from all 100 North Carolina counties.

Complete information including nomination and application forms are available on our website.

Questions about the William C. Friday Fellowship for Human Relations or Wildacres Leadership Initiative may be directed to WLI’s Director Hunter Corn at hunter@fridayfellowship.org

The board elected three officers to continue in their roles:  Rebekah Hughey of Pittsburgh (Class of 2014-16) as Chair, Danny Ellis of Rocky Mount (Class of 2008-10) as Vice Chair, and Jen Nixon of Greensboro (Class of 2014-16) as Treasurer.  Melinda Manning of Carrboro was elected Secretary for 2023.

Faith Patterson of Raleigh (Class of 2017-19) was reelected to a second three-year term ending in December 2025.

James Mills of Rocky Mount (Class of 2008-10) who served as Chair in 2020 and 2021 leaves the board at the end of 2022.  His many years of service in a variety of roles are deeply appreciated.

Two new board members were elected for initial three-year terms of January 2023 through December 2025.  Shannon Moretz of Caswell County (Class of 2017-19) and Alicia James of Raleigh bring new perspectives to the board and particular understandings of how WLI has attempted adaptations as a statewide organization during the pandemic.

The full list of WLI Board of Advisors members and their terms as of January 1, 2023 can be found at this link.

A sample board member job description is at this link.  If you or someone you know may have interest in serving on the WLI Board of Advisors now or in the future, please consider this sharing of the duties in the board member job description an open invitation to contact a board member or WLI Director Hunter Corn for a conversation.

Caption of picture collage above:
WLI board members as of Jan 2023
First row, l-r, Rebekah Hughey, Danny Ellis, Melinda Manning, Jen Nixon
Second row, l-r, Calvin Allen, Philip Blumenthal, Celeste Collins, Mavis Hill
Third row, l-r, Alicia James, Shannon Moretz, Faith Patterson, Boo Tyson

Campaigning and public service in elected office are heavy demands that test a person’s ability to continually demonstrate integrity, intention, and inclusion while evaluating power, place, and purpose in an ever-changing world.

As Bill Friday prophetically spoke in his charge to the first class of Friday Fellows 27 years ago last month, it is our ability to learn, grow, and change that will determine the direction of the Republic.  He said then to class members, “You are going to discover how much courage you really have in challenging demagoguery, hypocrisy, expediency, and misdirected ego.”  These words remain true.

The Friday Fellowship community both celebrates successes and provides a space for support and reflection.  Candidates in this cycle are listed below.

Jay Chaudhuri, Class of 2001-03
Reelected to NC State Senate District 15 covering portions of central Wake County.

Satana Deberry, Class of 1999-01
Reelected District Attorney of the 16th Prosecutorial District which covers all of Durham County.

Alyson Grine, Class of 2011-13
Elected as a Superior Court Judge for District 15B which covers Chatham and Orange Counties.

Brandon Lofton, Class of 2014-16
Reelected to NC State House District 104 covering portions of south central Mecklenberg County.

Graig Meyer, Class of 2003-05
Elected to NC State Senate District 23 covering Caswell, Orange, and Person Counties.

Deborah Ross, Class of 1995-97
Reelected to US House District 2 covering portions of central and northern Wake County.

Ed Wilson, Class of 1995-97
Not reelected as a Superior Court Judge for District 17A which covers Caswell and Rockingham Counties.

Chaudhuri, Deberry, Lofton, and Ross were reelected as incumbents although some areas represented may have changed due to redistricting.  Grine was appointed to the bench in January 2021 by Governor Cooper and has now won election to the seat.  Meyer previously served in the NC House and has won election to his first term in the NC Senate.  Wilson has served as a superior court judge since 2003 and was recently selected by his peers to serve as president of the NC Conference of Superior Court Judges.

US House, NC Senate, and NC House members serve two year terms. District Attorneys are elected to four year terms.  Superior Court judges serve eight year terms.

No matter the time in an electoral cycle, Bill Friday’s advice on listening is always sound.

If a Friday Fellow in the November 2022 election cycle has been omitted, please email.

Wildacres Leadership Initiative (WLI) recently ended a “guided pause” intentionally taken to reconsider how the organization may best position itself to better implement its mission, vision, and beliefs in the new (and existing) environments the COVID-19 pandemic unveiled.

WLI’s Board of Advisors has authorized the Director to hire two additional positions - a Lead Faculty, and an Assistant Director.  The organization will continue its flagship program, the William C. Friday Fellowship for Human Relations, and expand collaborative work throughout the state.

Full position description and application instructions for Lead Faculty can be found at this link.

Full position description and application instructions for Assistant Director can be found at this link.

Questions may be directed to WLI Director Hunter Corn.

WLI seeks a broadly diverse pool of qualified candidates for these positions.  Please share widely.

“I mean, it’s nurturing, but it is also nationalism.  At a certain stage nationalism is crucial to a people if you are going to ever impact as a group in your own interest.  Nationalism at another point becomes reactionary because it is totally inadequate for surviving in the world with many peoples.”
--Bernice Johnson Reagon’s remarks at the West Coast Women’s Music Festival in 1981 as presented in "Home Girls: A Black Feminist Anthology" (edited by Barbara Smith).

“We are not seeking religious Esperanto,“ said Hall, the program director, referring to the international language of communication.  We don’t shy away from real differences in the three world religions.  There are definitely politically pointed conversations.  But overtly political conversations happen alongside conversations that are textually based.”
--3 Scholars Gather for a Female-Led Interfaith Conference in the NC Mountains by Yonat Shimron, published August 1, 2022

“I was just struck by… this idea of retreating in order to belong.  I think it’s very profound, and it’s something I want to chew on a little bit more.”
--Dr. Marcus Harvey on The Waters & Harvey Show, episode “Relationship, Rest, Reflection, Reckoning,” aired August 12, 2022

Fate gifted me an opportunity to be a guest on The Waters & Harvey Show earlier this month with Dr. Marcus Harvey and Dr. Darin Waters, both of whom have been in relationship and involved in various ways with the 2020-2022 class of the William C. Friday Fellowship for Human Relations.  The show is a wonderful model of conversation between two individuals (and sometimes guests).  Often the hosts will return to a prior conversation – catching up like old friends – and then weave in a new conversation.  

This is precisely what occurred again.  The hosts invited me to reflect with them on their recent episode about historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) before moving toward a conversation about Wildacres Leadership Initiative (WLI) and the William C. Friday Fellowship for Human Relations.

The phrase “belonging uncertainty” was used on a guest panel in the previous Waters & Harvey episode about HBCUs by Dr. Lynn Pasquerella, President of the American Association of Colleges and Universities.  The phrase was followed later in that episode by a personal reflection of Dr. Harvey on his time at Morehouse College (an HBCU) as an undergraduate before attending Emory University (a PWI – predominantly white institution).

Clearly, the conversation has stuck with me.  I am writing about it months later with more reflections from an old talk by Bernice Johnson Reagon and a recent article by Yonat Shimron.  I mentioned it again on the following episode of The Waters & Harvey Show.  

The full works from which the quotes above are taken can be found here (Reagon), here (Shimron), and here (Waters & Harvey).

Still, I have found myself meditating on these brief, selected passages.  I think it is because they all bring the notion of time directly into the equation.  As I mention during my guest segment on the show, we cannot divorce these topics from considerations (or the very concept) of time.  
•How much time?
•When?
•Is a sequential order of some sort necessary?
•Can these notions of time be interrupted (for example, during a pandemic)?

Bernice Johnson Reagon’s remarks, later published as “Coalition Politics: Turning the Century,” were included as recommended reading for Seminar One of the 2017-19 Friday Fellowship class under the theme of “Building Our Learning Community.”  As Wildacres Leadership Initiative moves further into planning for a new phase in the world as it is, her words from over forty years ago echo loudly.

Yonat Shimron’s article takes a look at Wildacres Retreat and the evolution of another group that has regularly utilized the space over the years.  Her reporting on recent change, including covid impacts, are informative.

I have found these linked and quoted resources very useful of late during a time of planning and reconsideration.  Perhaps Shimron’s short article, Reagon’s talk transcript, or podcasts of The Waters & Harvey Show may be helpful for others as well.   

What are you reading or listening to or thinking?

How will we be with one another?

The 2020–2022 fellowship design situates difference itself as sacred. What is difference? Where does it come from? Why does it matter? And what/whom does it serve? Core to the 2020–2022 fellowship design are object lessons that handle and hold and honor these truth claims: that we can learn and unlearn with and from one another without collapsing or canceling complexity; and that we can learn and unlearn the ways we step on and side step and simply do not see one another or other sacred things that matter – people and places, too.

Documenting calibration to an evolving pandemic and to an emergent practice of human relations can be tricky. How can we capture the unspeakable – yours/mine/ours/theirs – in pixels or on pages? There are many things too sacred to reproduce in document alone. What is the metric of relationship? Can representation honor the ineffable, the intellectual, and the interbeing that reside in practices of relationship and reciprocity? If map is not territory, what might be speaking and serving and surprising and surfacing and silencing and surrendering still?

WLI  is pleased to share the 2020–2022 Friday Fellowship materials with the greater fellowship community. All materials were authored by Meredith Doster in a role generously funded by Wildacres Leadership Initiative (WLI), a program of Wildacres Retreat in Little Switzerland, North Carolina. The 23 members of the 2020–2022 cohort join over 220 Friday Fellows as the latest recipients of the Blumenthal family’s generous support. In addition to funding the most recent cohort, the Blumenthal Foundation continues to support Friday Fellows in their work in the world. 2020–2022 curriculum designer and lead faculty Meredith Doster was a Friday Fellow in the 2017–2019 cohort before she was hired to share her scholarship, teaching, and curriculum design work with WLI. The 2020–2022 materials are one of the many ways the Blumenthal’s continue to seed work across the state; sometimes grant by grant, but also Friday Fellow by Friday Fellow.

As scholar, author/designer, and lead faculty of the 2020–2022 Friday Fellowship curriculum, Meredith shares this curriculum as an open access educational resource (OER) via a CC BY-NC-SA license. This Creative Commons license invites others to remix, adapt, and build on this work non-commercially, as long as original authorship is credited and any adaptations are shared under identical terms. In the curriculum’s authorship statement, Doster explains the importance and impact of this licensing choice:

Why does this [sharing and citing] matter? Because showing one’s work is both personal and best practice; as is the kind of sharing that doesn’t obscure where things come from; people and places, too. Please note that this license explicitly excludes commercial use of this work. Should you take up this work in any way, thank you for respecting the spirit with which so many things – people and places, too – continue to breathe and become.

From personhood to pain to power to perpetuity to place to people to passage to possibility to phenotype to potential to preservation to potential to plenty and to precarity – a practice of so many things is emerging and evolving still; a praxis, too. The following links share a roadmap that invites those interested in taking up questions and objects in the service of deepening, of discernment, of difference itself. This documentation of the 2020–2022 Friday Fellowship design is a love offering and a gift. COVID constraints necessitated a model in which the Fellows could and did move independently and in small groups without facilitation. What that means is that the following can be taken up to serve any number of needs or moments.

Materials include full convening guides that document the arc and outline of each seminar weekend, discrete conversation guides that detail session-specific questions and activities, and a comprehensive set of recommended resources for each seminar that invite further engagement with the fellowship's themes. While the fellowship journey (and all materials) proceeded in chronological order, a central question of the design remains: "What is the (right) order of things?" Much of the content that follows can be engaged in a variety of settings and in myriad ways. For a full digest of the complete design broken into its component parts, please click on this link.

Should you be interested in considering these invitations and building toward a human relations practice, you might consider any of the following starting points. Each opening? A beginning without end.

• Looking for books and reading guides to share in small group conversation?
Consider the summer reading selections and questions.

• Eager to hone your dialogue skills?
Consider this conversation guide that engages six different dialogue texts and techniques.

• Curious about the long arc of a two-year journey?
The following recommended resource guides for each seminar weekend document invitations, questions, practices, and sessions. They also include extensive follow-up resources and questions that can serve in a variety of ways. Recommended Resources: Seminar One, Seminar Two,  Seminar Three, Seminar Four, Seminar Five, Seminar Six.


Those who have been following the 11th cohort on its journey will notice that the fellowship materials have moved from interlinked Google documents into a beautiful layout. WLI is delighted to have partnered with Asheville-based 828 Design on the professional packaging of the 2020–2022 content. With the organization continuing to revisit its mission and commitments during a guided pause, WLI invites Fellows and fellowship friends alike to consider how these materials might serve individual and collective learning, unlearning, and leadership. For questions about the design; its theories, invitations, and practices; please contact Meredith Doster directly. For questions about future directions of the organization and upcoming WLI happenings and Friday Fellowship classes, please contact WLI director Hunter Corn.

A fellowship practice that invites people, places, and things to understand themselves and others in relationship calls for gratitude to those same elements:

For people who circle back for others,
For places that make more than meaning,
And for the many things that carry – you, me, us, them.  

It all matters.

The first session of the 2020–2022 Friday Fellowship convened virtually in October 2020. Almost two years later, Fellows returned one last time to a now-familiar Zoomscape, leveraging one of the spaces that has made connection pandemic-possible for all cohort members. Over the long arc of the Covid-19 pandemic, Friday Fellows practiced being (together) in a variety of modalities. In contrast to previous fellowship classes that spent significant time in chairs circled close together, most full-group sessions of the 11th cohort have convened on screens and in virtual breakout rooms. How better to come full circle than to return to one of the many starting points of this two-year journey? Congratulations to the 2020–2022 Fellows that closed their journey virtually. Welcome to the Friday Fellowship network!

Most Friday Fellowship classes began on a McDowell County mountaintop stewarded by generations of Blumenthal family members. Wildacres Retreat in Little Switzerland, North Carolina, was more of an elusive anchor for the 2020–2022 fellowship cohort, with some members arriving at the end of a two-year experience that didn’t require an actual mountain to scale tremendous heights and plumb powerful depths often across great distance – difference too. COVID-calibrations made for a Seminar Six “homecoming” both bitter and sweet, as some Fellows (finally) relaxed into rocking chairs built to nurture a particular combination of rest, reflection, reckoning, and relationship. Having made it to the mountain, the 11th class of Friday Fellows considered the politics and possibilities of being at Wildacres – as Friday Fellows and as North Carolinians committed to “the betterment of human relations.” WLI Director Hunter Corn notes that Seminar Six was a marker of many things:

This time was a chance to share stories as some did during a book swap. Sharing the imprecisions of language – such as a discussion of remembrance vs. reverence – was also a powerful reminder of both the expansive and limiting use of a word like “difference.” I am grateful people can still relate as they choose using technologies old and new. It remains clear that having a special place like Wildacres Retreat to rest, reflect, and reckon is a gift.

On the first full day of their final seminar weekend, Friday Fellows contemplated what it means and takes to come home – especially to a place that is neither yours or mine nor ours or theirs. While exploring Wildacres’ many pasts and wandering its many pathways, the Fellows remembered the work of remembering itself. What happened in places like Lattimore, Tarboro, Rockingham (Seminar One); Wilson, Chimney Rock, and Lexington (Seminar Two); Pine Knoll Shores (Seminar Three); Sedalia, Black Mountain, Raleigh, and Charlotte (Seminar Four); Columbia (Seminar Five) and in so many virtual connections across all weekends? What do we remember from people like Darin Waters, Jaki Shelton Green, David LaMotte, Georgette Ledgister, Melvin A.C Howell, Senora Lynch, Lynette Aytch, Michelle Lanier, Liz Torres Melendez, Michelle Pearson, Jennifer Standish, Kehren Barbour, Rebecca Branson Jones, Lauren Taub, and more? What about the sprouting and puzzling and drumming and baking and pinch pot making?

Even as map – memory, too – remains distinct from territory, the work of retracing one’s footsteps can materially shape the way we understand and integrate experience. The Fellows spent time sitting with and sifting through the complexity of their own, others’, and shared memories before contributing to Dr. Darin Waters’ final session as 2020–2022 Faculty Fellow. Waters shares these reflections on his fellowship experience:

The conclusion of our final seminar together offered up a mixed bag of emotions. In one respect, there was a sense of accomplishment; together we were all concluding a two-year journey that had set out certain goals for us all to accomplish. Relationships have been built, memories have been made, and on an individual level moments of self-reflection and discovery have been had for us all. For all of these moments and experiences, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for the willingness of all to think outside and beyond themselves, to truly think about how we work toward the greater good. When you reflect upon our two year experience together, it's hard to not conclude that the Friday Fellowship journey has been a space that has in its own way broken and remade us.

Fellowship is a humbling proposition. It is also hard and holy work. At the outset of their journey, 2020–2022 Friday Fellows considered Howard Thurman’s contention that hatred flourishes when there is “contact without fellowship.” But what is fellowship? And how does it support a practice of human relations? When sister-colleague Georgette Ledgister and I began mapping the parameters of this particular experience, we began with a question: How will we be with one another? In our very first design session, we pledged to “seed a journey for the fellows in the way we collaborate and imagine together.” I am still sitting with the tenderness of that vision. What does it take to practice what we preach?

On the other side of two years of standing adaptation, I proclaim this truth: that it took both imagination and collaboration to make it across a finish line that kept shape-shifting. Some work has neither beginning nor end. I am grateful for the many sacred things – people and places, too – that came alongside. We needed each and every one. My hope is that we saw and shared with and served them, too.

The final morning of the 2020–2022 Friday Fellowship held space for a kind of closing that can be a beginning, too. For some, a two-year experience is finite. For others, that same journey turns into lifetimes. For others still, it will always be too soon to imagine how past, present, and future might be collaborating in this season. Even as clearness gave way to closing, the metric of so many things remained and remains unfixed. As Fellows remembered the many communities to which they belong, they counted the Friday Fellowship among them. Before heading home, those gathered potted a jade plant cutting provided by 2017–2019 Friday Fellow Sarah Brown. Sarah shared jade plants with each member of the 2017–2019 class, as well, launching a beautiful tradition that is now two classes old. All across the state, Fellows are growing things, including one another. Congratulations to all 2020–2022 Fellows that closed their journey on the mountain. Welcome to the Friday Fellowship!

2020–2022 Friday Fellows have read and told stories, raised and answered questions, and traveled roads both real and proverbial. Where does it all lead? That depends. The final question posed with, for, and by the 11th class of Friday Fellows shifts focus to the future. If you have been following along, perhaps you, too, are ready to imagine:

What’s next? And why? And if not now, then when?

The Friday Fellowship fosters the kind of learning and unlearning made possible when individual truth claims and deep-seated beliefs are both nurtured and nudged by practices of relationship. These recommended resources contextualize and challenge teachings unfolding across the arc of the 2020–2022 fellowship experience. Seminar Five tackled themes of life and death, with a ladder motif shaping a series of conversations about the rails and rungs – and choices – that matter to each Fellow. Lead faculty Meredith Doster reflected recently on the penultimate seminar weekend of this two-year journey:

The 2020–2022 fellowship remains an exercise in many things, including adaptation. Since long before the very first seminar weekend, working with this particular class at this particular moment in history has required a standing commitment to this line of difference: the many different and evolving definitions of the possible.

Seminar Five coincided with a surge in the Covid-19 Omicron variant. With no consensus among Fellows or WLI leadership about how to convene, some gathered in person while others participated virtually. This cohort has been gathering in different groups in different ways across the long arc of the fellowship – and the pandemic. But something about these concurrent tracks, designed to leverage the capacities of each modality and the comfort-level of each Fellow, seemed to represent a crossroad of sorts. What does it mean to go our separate ways? The choices we make count among the differences that are core to the Friday Fellowship experience. How we respond to that which divides (you/me/us/them) is the practice of human relations.

Our choices in time are just that. They can be reconsidered, held steadfast, and more. Noting Howard Zinn’s quote in the framing document of this class experience: “The future is an infinite succession of presents...” What choice will I make right now?  After that is not the end of history, just another present…with another choice.

What’s next? And in which modalities?

Lisa Bryant
I was on the fence about attending in person—Covid, distance, work to do, all the things. Then I was on the fence about attending with only half our peeps in person. Then I was bummed when that number dropped even further. Then I arrived. We gathered around a firepit within a few hours of our check-in. Then, one of the best weekends I've had in a very long time ensued. There was intense vulnerability shared mutually. There was limitless support and encouragement, and invitations to wide-ranging discussion and sharing. Agency as a group and as individuals was central to our impactful convening. I left inspired and refreshed and grateful for my eight mates who each leaned into every moment as it happened.  I was grateful for their...well, love.

Dalton Dockery
As I reflect on Seminar Five, the glaring thing for me was the ladder. It really opened my eyes, in terms of how sometimes we are so focused on achieving the goal at the top of the ladder. Rung by rung, we climb higher sometimes at the expense of others. The vertical ladder was where I used to be before the seminars started, climbing the hierarchy of life, each rung taking me to the next level.  

However, now I see the ladder as more horizontal, in a way where it is not as important to achieve promotions or the higher accolades as we strive to get higher on the ladder of life, but rather the relationships are more important.

For me, as I move from rung to rung in a horizontal fashion, they symbolize working together with others so everyone achieves. For example, I may be on rung one and Meredith may be on rung two etc., but what am I doing to help Meredith move from rung to rung over this thing we call life as we go together, rather than in a linear fashion where one person is always trying to climb higher than the other person.

Tiffany Jacobs
Patience matters
There's harm in the hurry
People work on projects such as a quilt for years
Piece by Piece becoming one Piece
Peace matters

Speech is silver, silence is golden
Don't be afraid of the silence!
Trust the process

My mortality has become my magic
My authenticity is my activism
My ladder is my DNA

BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!
Not meaning an organization but an affirmation and declaration!
I got Loyalty & Royalty inside my DNA

Weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning!
Darkness will not last forever
Together, we can climb toward the light

Possibility matters
The things that we live for are the same things that we would die for
Faith. Family, Fellowship.
FREEDOM

I am more ME for having journeyed with you
I hope you are more YOU for having journeyed with me
We have the power for this to be what we want it to be

We hold the power
TESTIFY!

Angie Flynn–McIver
I continue to notice who I am and how I show up in these different spaces with different people. I'm acutely aware that we are drawing to an end of this fellowship time, and I wonder if I've done enough, created enough meaning from this time together. How do we move forward? How do I?

Rebecca Greer
In all transparency, this seminar was the most amazing to me. Maybe because my emotions were raw from personal loss, but the camaraderie, the kindness, the openness in some that was never apparent before, it was nothing short of breathtaking. I did not feel the constraints of distance, even though we were not in person. It was definitely NOT another Zoom meeting in the plethora we have been subjected to over the last two years, but a connection of space, time, and hearts.
 
Meredith shared pieces of herself and modeled how people can stay connected, find commonality in difference with folks, and prepared a comfortable setting for growth and sharing. I look forward to Seminar Six as a way to deepen the relationships formed and find our way to continue.
move us, and inspire us on the path to understanding our shared, and divergent, human lot.

Merald Holloway
This idea of "Loving, Living, Learning, Leaning In, and Letting Go" didn’t seem possible as I drove down the highway. My mind was stuck on the work I had to do, the sense I was leaving people in a bad space—knowing that on Sunday night after we closed, I was headed into another part of Eastern NC that needed my particular brand of advocacy—or at least had requested that. My heart and brain were fighting each other...

What a difference a day and a frigid night and campfire make. This Seminar Five may have been the most memorable gathering of the series. Not the best, but the most memorable, which is a distinct and important thing to point out. There was a deep sense of loss I had to work through not having the rest of the cohort—or at least a majority of the folks I enjoy learning from—not at the opening session. There are so many nuggets of wisdom and insight into their lives and missions that feed me. I’m also struck by some observation you may make in fellowship that is both profound and could be easily missed if not for your ability to lift it up.

Our time together in Columbia was different, but as the days went on and we created our version of fellowship for this moment, I was able to pull myself into the group in deeper ways that I don’t think I ever have before. There was so much joy watching and listening to folks share their ladder stories, getting to work with and learn more about Hunter and Darin, smiling from ear to ear as I heard some personal reflections from the humans with me in this sacred circle we created, crying with and for pain that people shared, working in silence as a team, and sitting in silence. That silence was enlightening and challenging for someone who is both relational and highly introverted. I had time to think critically about how I want to be with these folks, but more importantly, how I want to be for myself as I do what I do in the community. I feel like I have so much clarity for how I want to be with these amazing people, and how I can be for them in ways that weren’t as clear before.

My hope for May is that I further define that and can communicate this in ways that don’t feel transactional. I’m dedicated to finding that balance before we depart and to starting a different kind of relationship in fellowship for the rest of our lives.

Liam Hooper
As I continue to search, strive, and solve for the kind of fellowship that moves us to increased understanding of what it is to be a human in the most personally and collectively transformative (and gentle) ways we can muster, I was rather amazed by the energy, growth, and connectivity in our fifth seminar. Given all the challenges our cohort has faced, I was profoundly moved by the level of vulnerability and regard we achieved with one another— even as we were not all together as we hoped. I can only speak for myself, but I believe we all —and I especially—came close to a full-faced, diversity-drenched glimpse of what fellowship can be, and more, how it can teach us, move us, and inspire us on the path to understanding our shared, and divergent, human lot.

Andrew Knoblich
Going into Seminar Five, I was filled with joy to know that there would be a physical space and time to connect with Fellows. I am behind a computer screen the majority of the work week and just couldn't imagine mustering up the same energy or feeling of absolute joy I felt to be present in a circle in person. While it was not necessarily an ideal scenario to have the cohort separated, I appreciate the intimacy and deeper connections I was able to make with Fellows in the setting we had. Also, I appreciated the opportunity to connect with the virtual Fellows for the interview series.

In some ways, this fellowship journey has helped me to heal and move beyond the trauma I experienced in June 2020. It has challenged me to grow in a myriad of ways and expand my perceptions on operating and being. Coming into the fellowship, I was very task and outcome oriented, valuing performance and achievement above most other things. This experience, especially Seminar Five (reflecting on what it means to die a good death), has challenged me to intentionally examine the paradigms and constructs of my life, resulting in the realization that relationships, mindfulness, and presence are extremely important. This is perhaps something I knew, but had not applied routinely in my daily life. I will certainly carry it with me as I endeavor to positively impact communities and ecosystems.

Withdrawing from technology for the majority of the weekend was fantastic, especially as we entered into four hours of silence, which was a fantastic gift.  Prior to the retreat, I had been reading Dan Harris' 10% Happier, and was excited to practice some meditation/mindfulness. The time allowed me to do something I cannot recall ever doing in my life with intention. I experienced many things during the silence, but a major takeaway was that I needed to incorporate more of it into my life.  Since Seminar Five, I have been meditating a few days a week and am working to expand on this base. It's awesome!

This seminar felt like a significant turning point for me personally, and I definitely felt much different (in a positive way) to be in fellowship. Looking forward to continuing the journey to and beyond Seminar Six.

Annie Lord
In Seminar One pause resonated deeply. Needing to learn to lean into pause in all aspects of life. Seminar Five revealed progress. There is a comfort in silence. Surprisingly, even when it is spent with other people. So much is said without using words.
 
There is power in silence ... but it’s a power that is being shared. I’ve learned that sometimes the best leaders lead quietly. And I’ve learned it’s okay to be an introvert.** It’s okay to lean into silence.  
 
“Am I becoming someone I respect?” – Margaret Wheatley
I dare say, yes.  And that is a pretty incredible feeling.

** I’m reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. And it starts by saying society makes us think that we must be extroverts to be popular, successful, heard, etc.  It follows with a list of introverts who have changed the world. This aligns with my reflection that when I was younger, I thought the best leaders were the authoritative ones. The ones who forcefully fill the space. I used to wonder how my quiet, calm mother (someone who I always thought was the complete opposite of me) could control a classroom. Ahhh, control. What does control mean exactly?  

Kelly McRell
Seminar Five reaffirmed that my deep roots to the people and place of North Carolina are neither time nor location bound. While I am living abroad in London at the moment, thanks to technology, I was able to engage the seminar in a fruitful and meaningful way. As a stranger in a foreign land, the seminar felt like a coming home—there was warmth, familiarity, and a whole lot of love to be found—that has helped to rejuvenate me in the individual, familial, and collective healing journey I am on here in London this year.

Tim Schwantes
Seminar Five reminded me of the importance of all of our senses, and what they do to help us connect with one another. They all serve a purpose and we shouldn't take any one of them for granted. As someone who participated in person—and recognizing the privilege of the shared experience of being in the same environment—and not taking that for granted, the team building activities brought (literal touch to) supporting one another. Sharing in the smells of a campfire, the crisp air that hints at wintery weather coming, the soundsof the Sound (and sound of collective silence), the taste of meals that are shared, and the sight of seeing pains and struggles (both personal and historic). Our bodies and our minds align in both yearning to be in community. Seminar Five showed the light and the possibilities of our post-pandemic world, and taking the time and the space to appreciate the small ways we connect with one another and not take any of our senses for granted. As I reflect on how this fellowship—this seminar in particular—can help me serve NC, the phrase "just go (if you can)" comes to mind to be with others in community. Don't ask if the time is right, don't have expectations you'll be welcome, don't take for granted the power of your time and the resources of your mind and body to simply show up. Being present is our greatest present. And the pandemic has allowed for the past and the future to overly-occupy my headspace where "presence" should be.

Tara Spivey
Seminar Five held for me a safe and comfortable space to sit in a place of silence. This space of silence allowed me to experience a life-changing moment. I have experienced having to be silent in different settings, but in our fellowship experience this was intentional silence done by choice. Taking the time to actually listen to the silence around me allowed me to better reflect, recognize, and refocus on the people and things in my life that matter. This led me to think about the legacy that I will leave behind for the next generation, and not just my family but my community. Through this Seminar Five experience, I will continue to work diligently towards listening more to the silence and needs of my community.

Clint Wilson
I felt that it was very refreshing to have some flexibility with the schedule due to our hectic and ever changing lives. I did feel that I grew a deeper connection with the individuals on my track because of how small our group was.

Mary Wilson
Seminar Five held special virtual time with Fellows I have not been able to share space and dialog with in the past. It was encouraging to see and feel the connection with the group as a whole as well as in small discussion breakout sessions. Since Tiffany and I had been meeting previously using the virtual platform, this seminar we were able to share with others how we continue to build and support our fellowship experience with our goal to be truly present to one another in the world of Zoom and texting technology. The feedback received from others in this virtual experience was most positive and affirming!

Unfortunately, my unexpected illness surfaced early in the seminar filling most of the scheduled unstructured time. However, I felt the support of fellowship through the numerous texts received from our group. Such kindness and compassion helped to ease the physical and emotional discomfort surrounding being absent from the remaining seminar and out of commission.

A light-filled reflection for my abbreviated Seminar Five was in the tenderness and caring felt from all in our virtual group. I truly experienced a new-found connection with everyone through hearing their stories (especially when we all shared something we did not know about each other) and seeing each of their faces! While virtual is never ideal, I honestly believe there is a depth of the presence one can feel when our fellowship group comes together. In addition, the leadership for every seminar has supported these experiences with their creativity, flexibility, and openness.

I continue to solve for a fellowship of caring, connection, conversation and commitment which can continue to serve and hopefully transform our communities across NC.

What’s next?